Top 5 Posts of 2008

• 5 - IRON MIC ELI PORTER VS DJ ENVY - originally posted April 11th
• 4- WHEN LOOKS ARE EVERYTHING - originally posted Nov 14th
• 3 - THE SANDWICH TESTS 1, 2, & 3
• 2 -THE STOMACH - originally posted Dec 10th
• 1 - and the all time fav' of the year - HAPPY'S LAST STAND - originally posted Oct 9th

Thanks to all the visitors and loyal readers of Word Izz who've shared their patronage in 2008. 2009 will mark our 1 year anniversary and quite a few changes are in store.

Be safe!

SANE - 12-31-08

What Happened To The Daughter???

I was HOPING to get a better angle of Cube and the fam at last week's Laker game against the Celtics so huge shout out to B-Nak for this shot

Don't ask me why I zoomed in Kareemah and blew this sh** up, just know that her "look" is unacceptable on a family outting.

your father is a founder of the world's most dangerous group and you're walkin' around with your teeth pertruding like a beaver with some Roger Thomas from What's Happenin' glasses on. Nah, I don't care!!!! Me and Kareemah go way back and she KNOWS better than this.

Over there lookin' all KINDS of "special".

Unh Unh

Aye, whose butt is this???

I know somebody didn't haul off and PAY for that.

LMAO!!

If they did, that's a bad job!

Wear a serong! Can't jus' be comin' out the house like this like everything is fine!

( source )

Real Chance Of Love Ep 10

So I'm a day late. Sue me. If not, let's get down to business.

Alright so last night was the continuation of the remaining 6 girls meeting Real and Chance's parents: Mr & Mrs. Givens

( side eye @ Mr. Givens )

Anyway....as I was sayin', so this week the fight between Risky & Milf hit it's peek when Risky bombarded the brothers with the question to Real of "Did he tell Milf she bobbed for apples" on Chance. Of course Real denied it:

but it didn't stop Risky from damn near ripping Milf's face off. Was I the only one distracted by Real's ring curls in this episode???

Yo, WHY did the rest of the girls come to the room to watch the festivities??? Was all that necessary? I was highly pissed that Real allowed Milf to "explain herself" in private but even though he did that and ended up suckin' her face he FINALLY did what we've been wanting him to do for weeks now!

He sent her packing!!!!! Hooray!!!

his reason? She can't "hold her liquor".

After eliminations, we head into Chance and his girls' outting with the parents and let me start off by saying this.....Cali's top was inappropriate to say the least.

I was mad that Mr. Givens told Chance with a chuckle that she would make a "good girlfriend". Like, cuzz, what the hell are YOU thinkin' about with your big stomach over there!

I gotta tell you, I was disappointed that Risky's only defense for why Chance should choose her was because she can get "crazy wit' 'em". Sigh!!!

I also thought Rabbit was grasping at straws when she told Mrs. Givens that Risky's brother was in jail and was it just me or was Chance crying AGAIN at the table when Risky was explaining what happened to her brother???

I don't know about yo' boy.......every time I try to give him an out he does somethin' else suspect. Just like his fearful behavior on the sky tram ride.

GAY

and no real man crosses his legs, alright?

I'm MAD at Mr. Given's stomach.

Hey Odara, check out Micah's future!!! :)

Anyway, so Risky had 2 nights of ghetto vibes that splashed all over the parents and when it came down to eliminations, I was actually kinda nervous for her.

Ahhhh, but let's not forget the previous transgressions of Rabbit when she was bouncing from brother to brother. Mama Givens did NOT like that.

And that, coupled with Chance's true feelings over the hair on her face and mustiness under her arms all played a part in HER being the one sent home.

and good riddance, I was tired of her Valley girl dialect anyway.

So now we're down to 4 girls:

Bay x3 ( shout out to Amusedone for coining that, and Corn Fed

&

Risky and Cali

Not that i'm tryin' to be presumptuous but something in my heart is tellin' me that Chance WILL choose Risky and I say that because Cali is gonna be on I Love Money 2 with Milf.......jus' sayin'.

Oh and before I go, I wanted to jock Real's hair ONE more time!

after seeing those curls, i'm not even mad at the man for wearin' the shower cap in the hot tub a couple of weeks ago:

he was.......preserving his sexy. LMAO!!!!

Yo, you know what to do, hit me up if you saw the show.

( pic source )

Horrendous Dawgs

Allow me to apologize in advance but I saw the back of these big ass heels and I just had to share it with y'all. If you got a weak stomach, get it over it.

Don't you just hate when you see woman with dawgs this unkempt??? I don't even know how long it takes for someones feet to even end UP this dry and rough. That crust is so thick, a regular loofa won't cut it. She needs a chef's knife and some battery acid to loosen that crap. I bet she would go down 2 shoe sizes easy, but wait......that ain't nothin'

Believe me when I say that my exact sentiments were as follows:

when I saw THIS dawg:

Now see this is a deal breaker. I would seriously break up with somebody that had feet that look like this, call me shallow if you want to, but you know damn well you ain't takin' nobody with a dawg like this out to no beach or no restaurant with they toes lookin' like that. THAT would warrant a Korean conversation at the beauty salon and I wouldn't even judge. Awful. Just awful.

So Many Questions...

Okay, after this one, I quit. This stuff is making my eyes hurt.

I go away for like a week, come back and see your little brother wearing your grandmother's wig. That sh** is SO uncombed....so wrong on so many levels.....and so stupid.

No he did NOT try to bump the edges with a curling iron to try to make bangs!

What is the meaning of this!? And why is he outside with this on!?

I hope he not sellin' a** but if he is, that's hilarious.

Nigga look like he seen ALOT

Flap Jacks

Foreal Houston???

Like, seriously.....foreal?

I am SO tired of seein' our people pen money on themselves, hell, if I didn't know no better, I'd think this broad was the mother of this poor baby.

Why her tiggoes gotta look like flap jacks though? And she ain't even 50 years old yet, walkin' around with her trash damn near touchin' her knees.

She needs a reduction and a sports bra.........and a coat.

source

The Face Of Mustiness

Here's 2 more for you to come claim.

This is what "MUST" looks like.

Must in the form of an adolescent, unsolicited, and unforgiven STENCH that attaches itself to an unclean male between the ages of 15 and 17. The mustiness of an ignorant boy who is "smelling" himself but can't even read or write good.

Now you know these boys don't shower or bathe on a regular basis, but unfortunately, somewhere, there's some dumb hoodrat females who have developed too early who swear up and down that these 2 are "FO'INE". The lining of their clothes are probably soiled to a capacity that would make ANY experienced Dry Cleaner veteren just GIVE UP on trying to get the stains out.

They look disgusting. I've never understood the need to have the pants down THAT far but they obviously didn't get the memo about that being a turn-on to men in prison.

In Need Of A Major Lace Front Wig

I saw this monster over on O Hell Nawl and realized it had more hair over it's top lip than on the sides of it's head. This is the first time i've seen an "Eddie Monster" on someone who has a culdesac on both sides of their head. She has got to have the tallest forehead I've ever seen, over there smilin' and showcasing those dark knuckles of hers.

If you know her, you need to come get her and make sure she wears a hat the next time she try to come out the house.

Bad Memories

I was talkin' to my homeboy "Steve" the other day, late one night and I asked him what he was doin' up so late. He told me he couldn't sleep.

Me being the inquisitive person that I am, I joked about him being a vampire first, then in my typical sensible way, I asked him what was wrong. He told me it was the norm for him around this time every year, around the late holidays, to stay up because he suffers from insomnia caused by a traumatic memory that keeps replaying itself in his mind during this season.

Listening to his story, I was devastated to learn that back when he was 10 years old, he, his brother and sister were taken away from their mom 2 days before Christmas and placed into Foster care.

"Steve" had said that even though that wasn't the first time they had been stripped away from her and put into the system, this was by far the worst time it happened.....'cause this time, they didn't go back home. He said the reason behind the seperation stemmed from some bad things his mom had done in her past that had come back to haunt her, in the form of the law, and because she wasn't tryin' to make herself comfortable in a jail cell, the law figured, well let's just take her kids from her.

I swear, I saw the scenario play out in my head as I listened to him tell me the story.

"Steve" said he was at school one day, participating in a raffle, being 10, enjoying his classmates and the festivities...

The wire had said the kid who won the raffle would be presented with a brand new TV/Radio - which back in the late 80's early 90's was the "ish" to have. The winning kid would also get their name said over the intercom as well as get a ride home from school that day if warranted ( to alleviate any jealous kids from hijacking the goods ).

Imagine his innocent yet elated delight when HE won that prize.

I'm sure he did the wop or somethin'....or the cabbage patch in front of the class.

Not long after he was announced the winner, an announcement came over the intercom. It was the princible alerting "Steve"s teacher to send that "Special Kid" down to the office.

Thinkin' "aw, this is SWEET, they fena do what they said they gon' do", he said by the time he made it to the office with his new tv and other goods under his 10 year old arms, his legs turned to putty when he saw one of these waiting for him:

It was a social worker and an undercover police officer, heartless as they were, there to collect him in BROAD daylight.....at his school......in front of everybody.

"Steve" said his brother, who was a year older than him, was already in the back seat of the police car and within seconds, he was placed in there along with him. After taking the boys away, they were driven to their older sister's school to get her too, that's why the cop was there.....just incase she tried to run. The worst part about it was the authorities didn't even tell their mom what was taking place. It wasn't until she filed a missing persons report after the Steve and nem didn't come home, that she learned about what happened, but by then it was too late. They were already in the system.

"Steve" and his brother were taken to what appeared to be a nice lookin' Foster home

while their sister was taken elsewhere.

His foster mother was a old black lady named Madea.....

I don't know if she was heavy or thin so that visual will just have to do. "Steve" said she wasn't a mean lady....matter of fact, all she did was really stay in her room, and i'm thinkin', well that's not too bad. He said when they got there, the front of the house was decked out with all kinds of nice, expensive furniture and there was a big 'ole Christmas tree in the living room with a whole bunch of presents under it. An excellent facade to throw the social worker off to what the real deal up in that place was.

After the cop and nem left, "Steve" said about 20 negroes came up outta the back of the house. I guess they were told to "lay low" until the coast was clear.

"Steve" and his brother learned that 22 other individuals stayed there, besides Madea, and the living conditions were horrendous

It was a total of 4 families , extended relatives of Madea, all living there....and all trife.

"Steve" and his brother had to sleep in the same bed with another boy they didn't know and they ate the same thing everyday.

Before school, all they got was toast and that was it.

The grown ups in the house were smokin' crack in the basement and with the place being as overcrowded as it was, it's a no brainer that beyond the living room, the rest of the house looked like this:

Full of rats....full of mice.....and full of roaches.

It's devastating to know that there are places like that, let alone, where kids who can't really defend or take care of themselves yet are subjected to live.

"Steve" and his brother stayed in that place for 6 months.....with these strangers.

I asked him what had happened to his mom and he said she stayed on the run for as long as she could until the authorities finally caught up with her. I believe she eventually did have to do some time and some years later, they were finally reunited with each other.

Listening to "Steve", despite what he, his brother and sister had gone thru, bein' in and outta the system the way they were when they were little, surprisingly he has no ill will towards his mom, I mean, after all, nomatter what she did in her past.....she was still his MOM.

Said even when he used to live with her, there were times when she wouldn't come home, but she was aware of what he needed....or may have wanted...and she made sure whatever it, was was there when he woke up in the morning.

He even told me one time, he was tryin' to sell some tickets to win a prize for somethin' at school, and his mom flat out bought the rest of his tickets just so he could win with that prize.

Those are some good memories he has of her and I'm pretty sure there's some more, I just thought it was big of him to retain those though.

It just goes to show, you just never know what kind of experiences often shape the people you might know or meet.

"Steve" told me his mom is done with her "time" now and their relationship is back in tact but even with that being the case, that whole ordeal of the way those kids were stripped away from her still stays with him.

I don't know how long that'll last but "Steve", if you're reading this, I'm sorry you had to go thru that. For what it's worth, as a grown man, you've come thru the rough times and have become a fantastic adult, an awesome cat with a great sense of humor. Thanks for allowing me to post this and I hope I did your story justice.

My Brother

It's been a minute since I talked to my brother but for some reason, I was thinkin' about him tonight. Bein' 4 years apart, him older and me, younger, we were the best of friends growin' up, even though he used to make me do stuff for cheap laughs, like convincing me that drinking our mom's cooking vanilla was gonna be a tastey treat, or like the time we used to wash cars in the neighborhood and after we were done, he'd send me to the neighbors houses to collect the money by myself.....or even the time he sold me out when I ate all the cream outta of the new bag of oreo cookies and left all the black cookies in the trash - he told our mom and she made me take ALL those cookies out the trash and eat them without anything to drink, while my brother stood in the doorway laughin' at me.

Yeah, I remember that crap. My brother has an infectious laugh though and even though he was mischevious growin' up, folks and strays always seemed to gravitate towards him.

This is a true story about one of those times.

When he was about 12 or 13, he had this buddy of his named Marcus that he used to go to junior high ( before it was middle school ) with:

Marcus hadn't always been around 'cause my brother had a lot of other consistent pals but one year, Marcus popped up and they had become ace boon coons for whatever reason. Back then, our folks used to interrogate our new friends to find out some things about them before they could just make a habit out of comin' over the house all the time but either they didn't do that with Marcus, or the boy lied about where he came from.

All I know is one day, Marcus had come over to play with my brother and didn't leave for like 3 days. The problem was that our parents didn't know that. They thought after play that the boy had gone home, but little did they know that my brother had stashed him in our garage:

I remember wondering, why my brother kept going outside in the backyard that day. First he had him camped out on the garage roof and silly me, I just thought they were up there yelling for pigeons to flip or whatever, so I shrugged it off and hung out with them. We had dogs back then and now that I think about it, that boy had been in our yard for so long, our dogs had got acquainted with him and didn't trip, and had they done their JOBS, my folks woulda known what was going on.

During the day time, I had found out, that it was decided that between my brother and Marcus that Marcus would camp out on our roof in the day time and once the sun went down, would be transferred and smuggled inside our garage for night coverage.

I'll never forget how my brother kept going outside in the backyard carryin' things like this:

and snacks like this:

WHOLE bags, mind you, and cookies and cups of drink and all kinds of stuff. I know my folks were wondering what was up, but the sh** hit the fan when my mom cooked dinner on one of the nights and my brother, after HE ate, decided to prepare a plate like this:

and take it outside into the night. My mom was like, "hold up, where you goin' with that full course meal and what's with all these trips outside?"

My brother, with a straight face, told her he was taking it to our dog, Gonzo:

Moms' was like the HELL you are! Not on my good damn plate like that! And since when did Gonzo start eating whole pieces of chicken and greens? And LAYS chips outta the BAG???

At this point, both my folks decided to investigate what was goin' on out there and to my brother's heartbreak, they discovered his friend Marcus, all wrapped up in blankets with his big 'ole eyes open, layin' up under my dad's old desk. They told him to get up and come in the house. I know my brother was like "damn" but he ain't have nobody to blame but himself, had he not been obvious with the plate, then they wouldn't have been put on blast the way they had.

Anyway, turns out, during my parents' interrogation of Marcus, they found out thru his tears and sobs that he was getting beat up by his dad at home and was scared to go back. I guess once he and my brother had become friends, he confided that in him, and my brother, being the guy he is, always willing to take in a stray on someone elses dime, decided to save his pal. My mom fed him and after calming him down, they told him that they had to call his parents to let them know where he was because they were more than likely worried. You should have seen that boy's face. I mean, what would you have done if you were them?

They didn't know this boy like that and this was before DCS was on ANYBODY'S speed dial. Perhaps had he lifted up the back of his shirt and showed them a couple of bruises like Penny from Good Times did, they might have been compelled to alert the authorities but at the end of the day, Marcus's parents would still have to know where he was and that he was alive. I remember seeing my dad make that phone call and he wasnt sure if he was doing the right thing, but hey, he already had kids of his own to take care of, so he had to do what he had to do. Marcus' dad answered the call and judging on the exhange my dad had with the man, it seemed as though the man was genuinely concerned and worried. So Marcus went home.

I'd like to think that he didn't "get it" when he got home. I'd like to think maybe the abuse he told my family about was exaggerated, but if it wasn't, i'm sorry he had to experience that and i'm sorry my folks had to send him back to it.

It goes without saying that, because of my brother's deceit, he got one of these:

right after Marcus left, but my dad reasoned it was because he had been dishonest.

I didn't agree with that but since I didn't want one for "aiding and abedding", I just kept my opinions at age 8 on the matter to myself, but for the record, being that the intent to help somebody was at the core of that situation......

to my brother, I didn't think you were wrong at all.

Let's Just Hope She Doesn't Wear Spaghetti Straps

With all the sass in my voice, Aretha Franklin and her big ass is on the roster to sing at the presidential Inauguration on Jan.20th.

I don't know about you but it's been a minute since I've been able to actually pay attention to ANY of her vocals, what with her appearance being what it is these days and judgin' by the most recent shot of her

she doesn't have plans to give up the damn spaghetti strap tarps any time soon, I swear, 'cause the level of ABUSE she's putting on those poor things....

is beyond ridiculous. I'm in no mood to watch her top suffer on such an important occasion.

source

Take That Ugly Wig Off!

Never been a fan of the MONK wig

so imagine the look on my face when I saw baboon face Estelle wearing one that had some length added on it it.

I've been inside a wig store before and that's one of those joints that be in the old lady section way in the back, that comes in like 3 different colors: Coffe Bean brown, Charcoal Black or just plain Silver.

Garbage.

Ugly Cuzz

Why do I have to come back on somethin' like this?

I saw this joker over at C&D just a minute ago and was baffled to tarnation as to WHY his hairline is as shallow and non existant as the Crypt Keeper's?

And he got the nerve to have a damn attitude like he 'on't even care neither, with them dry ass lips of his, lookin' like he been runnin' that bottom lip of his on a hot slab of chipped asphalt.

I am SO heated that his eyebrows are missing in action and one of his ear lobes appears to be slit, like he got himself into a brawl some time ago with a pair of door knocker earrings on, only to get both of them mugs snatched the hell out without remorse!

Why did I show my husband and he snarled? LOL!

There should be NO reason why this man's hair should be THAT dry, pushed back and forsaken like that when you have men over here with hair like Real's:

You can sue me for that one but i'm dyin' to see a side profile of ugly cuzz's head, how 'bout you?

Real Chance Of Love Ep 9

First and foremost, Mrs. Givens' has got some explaining to do.

I combed this week's episode TWICE....tryin' to find some kinda DNA on Mr. Givens that attaches him to Real and.....40 some odd years together or NOT......that CANNOT be his biological father.

We have anticipated for weeks now.....the debut of Mr. Givens

I saw not one curl in that man's head that would match him as a relative of Real but I did however, catch sight of a gap that could plant him at the scene of the crime when Chance was conceived......and Micah DOES have the man's eyes. I'm much more madder that Real went and got his tresses done for that dinner he had with his folks and didn't spring for his mom's hair to be done.

This episode was all over the place so y'all gon' have to bear with me. I think we can all attest to the fact that we ALL hate Milf and her bonding with Mrs. Givens made me wanna go blow chunks. If I have to choose between her and Bay Bay Bay, then you know I'ma ride with Bay Bay Bay but she wore out her welcome with me this week with all the MILF talk. I swear, did anybody else think her opinion is redundant at this point?? Her mouth will surely be her downfall

Let's cut to the chase though. Can you believe Chance had the audacity to make his last 3 girls go get TATTOOS!? Um, hell no! After I seen that, I reasoned that they had to be peel off's, I mean, like Rabbit said....what if you ger eliminated? For that, I don't blame her for not gettin' a tat that had anything to do with homie.....especially after how hard he been goin' at her and her facial hair. Oh and by the way....here's an extra video of him AND Real talkin' about her bein' MUSTY as well! *gasp*!

At this point, I guess it's safe to wonder just why the hell he's even keepin' her around.

My highlight of the night and i'm sure it was yours too was THE ACCUSATION OF MILF TO RISKY!

That one, I totally didn't see comin' and I'm surprised Milf didn't catch a chair upside the head after publically tryin' to throw Risky under the bus by pullin' that "If I'm goin' down, I'm takin' everybody with me" card. OMG, when she came out the house and said she heard that Risky gave Chance "shine", my eyes got huge! My thing is, even if she got it and twisted it wrong, REAL was wrong for talkin' to her and confiding into her ANYTHING and not only that, Milf was a jerk for even takin' it there against Chance's girls when they had nothin' to do with her beef.

I was SO heated when once again, Real came to Milf's aid earlier that day when her doin' porn came out and he gon' sit up there and say he "respected her hustle and it touched him".

You'll wanna enter here, the "Edna" face:

Whussup ODARA!!! :)

Man, I KNOW after Milf said what she said about Risky and Risky took off to go confront the brothers, Milf's head and underarms started itchin'. Her hair is so fried by the way.

So while i'm sittin' up here waitin' for Risky to knock a vase over her head, the episode leaves us with a damn TO BE CONTINUED once Risky and Milf reach the door of where the brothers are stayin'......

Ok, now not only am I mad that we didn't get to see any elimination tonight but I was even THAT much more pissed when next week's preview sees Milf pull that "Just send me home" trash. I am SO done!

Oh yeah, by the way, I heard thru the wire that I Love Money 2 is comin' in a couple of weeks, so just when I thought I could sit my ass down from doin' these darn VH1 recaps, the crack keeps callin' me back for those of y'all who are interested, strap up for another ride.

What A Train Wreck Looks Like

Smoldering garbage...

She don't have no sense of what tacky is, hunh? You know, I have HAD it up to here with Lil' Kim and this dirty hair mixed in with weave she keeps forcin' upon us. Just once......just ONE time, I would love to see somebody hose her down so we can see what she looks like now underneath all that crap.

And don't even get me started on why she took a picture with THIS broad:

Do you think she bought that outfit straight off the rack? Or did she jack her grandmother's collection of Crown Royal bags and stitch this masterpiece together?

This outfit is stupid. LOL! I'm sure she left bacon bit crumbs every where she sat and she's a lie if she tried to act like she wasn't cold walkin' around with those clammy cheeks of hers hangin' out. Y'all can't be lettin' your friends do this type of stuff.