With That Hotel Curtain In The Back

I don't know who Mr. Skinny Bone Jones is tryin' to trick in these pictures but he nor them spear chuckin' legs of his are fresh.

Either he's over 6'4 and his other leg is on a stool or they bought that dresser from Midget Town.

Sane's Take On The Bet '09 Awards

I wasn't gon' do this but Carol - this is for you, in particular.

Okay, so yeah I saw it. It's always a circus, which is why I don't slap my forearms rapidly like a crack head ready to inject a needle if I miss it.

However....

Like most of you, I tuned in 'cause I'm thinkin' some major calls went out in an attempt to round out somebody who was gon' perform a tribute to Mike the best.

In my personal opinion, 40% of my chips were pushed on Usher's face while 60% of my chips were slid over over on Chris Brown's face.

How deceived I was.

First of all, somebody BETTER be holdin' either of them aside for the REAL tribute, the one okay'd by the Jackson family.

I read enough comments from all the jokers who feel like Chris Brown's legal situation should hinder him from bein' involved but you know what? What's that got to do with his ability to perform? Nothin'.

I heard the rumors about Jay-Z and his ass threatening to pull out of the show if Chris shows up and Covergirl doin' the same and blah blah blah.

Look, neither Jay-Z nor the execs from Covergirl can entertain a crowd with a Michael Jackson rendition and tribute like that lil' boy can and in the lip-synced words of Milli Vanilli, girl you know it's true! Alright!?

The Preshow! First and foremost, it was hotter than a Eskimo tryin' to take a field trip to the sun in Cali yesterday, so anybody who was reduced to performing OUTSIDE should know that BET thinks you ain't really sh**. Day 26 and Letoya Luckett should be feelin' some kinda way right now. Especially Letoya. Poor thing probably thought her even being on the BILL was a victory but we all know her dancin' outside in the heat had Matthew's ( Knowles ) finger prints all over it.

I'm not mad at Jamie Foxx and neither am I mad at how they rushed thru the actual award winners.

I was happy just to see New Edition INVOLVED. Period. And even though they all coulda used some shots of oil like the Tin-Man from the Wiz, it was nice to see Keith Sweat, ALL the members of Guy and BBD ( who, yes, made me excited ) perform.

Beyonce? *rolls eyes* I'm thinkin' she fena come out here and blow a old Michael ballad and kill things but she took things completely in left field, out the door and down the street somewhere.

I didn't appreciate Jamie all but shoving Jay-Z's scrotum in his mouth when he announced his performance as if Michael himself was about to come out from behind the stage.

I don't give a damn about that nigga.

He just HAD to make part of the night about him, hunh? ( even with the premiere of the video )

*scoffs*

Who else?

Don Cornelious? Mistake.

Nigga lost his crowd 2 minutes into his monotone introduction to the O'Jays.

They shoulda gave him hand-held cue cards to read instead of a teleprompter. 5 minutes into his introduction, I found myself asking my husband "what is he talkin' about"? You know niggas in the audience used that 20 minutes of him being on stage to go to the restroom or Twit.

As usual, which ever rapper who's chosen to perform at the end, embarrasses me and Lil' Wayne and made me search violently for the remote control so I could turn the sh** off.

I cannot believe I sat thru 3 hours of that crap, a supposed Michael Jackson tribute.....and saw NO USHER and NO CHRIS BROWN.

I wasn't expecting Janet to be there, which was fine. Jamie and Neyo's "I'll Be There" at the end, did make a nigga's built up tears give way, but over all, way too many embarrassing people jus' made me wanna ball up the entire episode like a used piece of paper and start the hell over.

Oh and P.S., somebody in the Jackson family needs to man-up and tell Joe's ass that he ain't helpin' things by speakin' in public on "behalf" of the family. Walkin' around sayin' he's GREAT and tellin' folks that Katherine is "fine", then plugging his record company is grounds for a big rotten tomato thrown in the face, hard.

I Didn't Get My MEAL

Me and food have a GREAT relationship.

Saturday, I was promised a meal that I didn't get. The popularity of the Transformers 2 movie caused a nigga to be in line ( even though we bought our tickets online ) for at least an hour. I'm an easy date and when I say "easy", just know that if I'm fed, I won't cause no problems. I think the fact that i'm quick to smuggle some sh** inside the theatre has spoiled my husband into to thinkin' i'ma be alright.

Those of y'all who have kids know dates come a dime a dozen once "comfort" sets in. That's one thing I WILL give my dude 'cause he realizes that every once and a while, it's imparitive that we take at least one night to go do somethin'. Long story short, I was lookin' forward to the evening. Our IMAX showing was at 7 and while we was in line waitin' to get inside, it dawned on me that the movie is 2 and a half hours long.....and since we didn't eat no where before we GOT there.....that come 9:30, the chances of us goin' to a restaurant were slimmer than Prince's waistline without a jacket on. I look up at my dude and I'm like"um.........whus' up on the meal, my nigga?"

He tells me "Meal?.....nigga, you should still be full from lunch. I am." - then laughed.

I paused......

and then..................

He gave me the "eyebrow raise" and all but told me to kick rocks.

Y'all know concession stand prices are a bad dream and if I can help it, I don't even subject myself to their robbery but I hadn't eaten since lunch time and there was so way I was jus' gon' sit there and drink on my damn saliva so I told that nigga to anti up with the wallet and run that cash. He gave me some lil' change or whatever and then gon' ask me to bring him back a Coke.

Nigga, a regular coke is like $4 dollars! And they got they nerve chargin' at damn $6.50 for a hand-held pizza! See, THAT's why I smuggle sh**. That's why I'll come in there with 2 damn drinks stuck up my sleeves and a warm tupperwear container IN my bag full of food, but this time I was unprepared 'cause I was promised a meal in advance *rolls eyes*

Anyway, so when I GET back into the theatre, I run up on this sh**

you'll have to excuse the darkness of the photo but some broad had brought her newborn baby and parked her ass RIGHT near us. A speaker was right above her head so you know when the movie came on, the baby got irritated. *gives you all the knowing look*

She had 4 other kids with her, plus her mate, plus relatives and them damn IMAX tickets were NOT cheap. She COULDA got a baby sitter and THAT'S why she needed one of these upside her head if not more than that!

*rolls eyes again*

Fortunately, we got thru this thing and the movie tamed my irritation but I jus' wanted to share wit' y'all how part of my weekend went.

I got a "meal credit" for next time and if this nigga don't come thruuuuuu *shakes head*

It's gon' be trouble.

Y'all jus' might turn on the news and see my ass gettin' stuffed in the back of a squad car, hand cuffed gettin' my head pushed down by a cop. You think i'm playin'.

A fed woman is a happy woman.

With that said, how was your weekend?

Michael: Vintage Home Video in '83

I'm so glad somebody uploaded these. Here's Mike before the Tabloid fodder. Feel free to pause the music player on the left if you feel like watchin' these vid's.

Remembering Michael Jackson

Now that he's physically gone, where do you start when it comes to writing about how you feel about his life, what he brought to the game, his aura, his......everything ?

Look at Michael.....waitin' to see what I'ma say about him now.

Man!

I never thought I'd ever live to see the day when I'd have to add the phrase "his departure" alongside things concernin' him. I mean I know that man did way more....WAY more than alot of us would ever even think to accomplish and couple'd with all hits, all the dance moves, all the philanthropy.....it was a lot of......invasion of privacy that went on over the years that I think made people judge Mike for whatever we may have read or heard.

I think for me personally, my first introduction to Michael was the every early 80's, back when the singles from the Off The Wall album were playin' on the radio.

I was born in the 70's but I can't attest to the heat he and his brother's brought at that time as if I was a contemporary old enough to know what was goin' on but I distinctly remember the premiere of the Billie Jean video debuting on MTV, the posters, the buttons, the Beat It t-shirts and red zipper jacket ( that my cousin had ), the glitter glove & socks, the penny loafers, the swivel curl on his forehead, the moonwalk at the Awards, man, all that. Jus'.....all that.

Michael was "that dude". I never got a chance to see him perform, but I was definately a believer. I screamed and squealed like a crazed fan and got excited over a lot of performances over the years and it was a feelin' that......no other artist in my time ever made me do to that degree.

You know, I always knew that one day, Mike wasn't gon' be here no more but I never thought it would go down like this and definately not this soon. Entertainment wise? Mike was untouchable. He'll never be duplicated.

It jus' seemed like, after the BAD album, I remember seeing things spiral and not for the better. So, so much controversy. But what does it matter, now you know? That's not how I wanna remember him. I wanna remember Michael when he was smiling, when he was doin' what made him happy, or what appeared to make him happy.

For me, I jus'.....if anything, I'm glad he's not in pain anymore. Whether physically, emotionally, stress wise, just anything that may have made him wake up in the mornin' and sigh or curse under his breath.

Like me and my brother Mack was sayin', I hate to think of and anticipate what type of circus this is gon' turn into once the dust settles and the majority of the tears dry. Even though we didn't know him personally like that, we know.....Mike wouldn't want that.

For those that knew him, his family, his friends, and everybody who had a chunk of their heart ripped out yesterday, you know.......mine goes out. *cheek on fist*.

Michael Jackson.....................................................

Damn.

I'll remember you. I'll remember.

Love Always, Sane

( the rest of y'all, be easy )

Unloved

Dang, she got the whole Sonic the Hedgehog thing goin' on, don't she?

At first glance, I thought she was Kaneesha from Lean On Me after a fight on the set

ROFLMAO!

Then I was like, nah, that's jus' a frustrated, upset, female with a f*cked up hair style, if you wanna call that a style.

I bet you can't part her hair and find her scalp.

She look like she been a SERIOUS scuffle, like, with 10 Samoans after she said the wrong thing and security didn't make it in time to break up the melee.

Whoever took her mug shot didn't offer her no comb or NOTHIN', they was jus' like "get over there, stand right there and shut up!" *picture snap*

Poor thing!

Face all twisted, chin over there makin' a hard left into the right lane.

She looks terrible! And the worse part about it, the more I look at her the more I laugh.

Her hair is so unloved.

Lemme stop. SMH.

Her Filthy Ass

This is as random as it gets around here, but I know I'm not the only one who used to get caught up watchin' that oily trollop, Pippy Longstockings' back in the 80's on Saturday and Sunday evenings when her sporadic "adventures" would come on regular TV.

What in the world were we thinking!?

Everything about that show was wrong and everything about her was unsanitary.

She used to STAY diggin' up in that nose, remember? And her fingers were so dirty, she could give her own finger print down at the police station without havin' to dip those crawdads in ink. She NEVER took a bath or changed her clothes ( not to mention her panties ) but what did she always do?

Absolutely no shame. Dirty ass.

I remember seein' the remakes later on durin' the 80's and the newer shows tried to clean her up a bit, didn't really show her pullin' out murphies and what not, but for those of us that remember the original version, man, this chick was way outta control with hers.

Livin' up in that house with that filthy horse and monkey.

I can't believe my momma used to let me watch that crap! Now that i'm grown, of course I look back and my face screws up in confusion as to why her adventures intrigued me but...for the life of me I can't understand it.

She ate shrubbery, she chewed on her toenails, she wiped her nose and touched niggas, I mean, her whole everything was disgusting!

Somebody, anybody, please explain this to me.

If you got caught up in her show too, holla.

You Ain't Fena Fool Nobody

Self esteem should really be handed out like credit.

I'm not over there wearin' a "Go Tranny" jersey or anything like that but when it comes to drag queens like Rupaul

he has mastered the art of lookin' better than some women. The skin, the make up, the choice of wigs, and even the outfits are always 100% and when that's the case, I have absolutely NO problem givin' props when they're due.

However

There are SOME things that all men who are contemplating acting like or dressing like women should understand.

1. If you were ugly as a man, you gon' be ugly as a woman, if not worse!

2. No matter how much make up you slap on your ugly, muscular face, your features are still obvious!

3. If the roots of your wig look like apartment carpet, maybe you shouldn't wear it!

4. If you still have shoulder blades and back blades and a buff neck, stay out the revealing womens clothes!

It does not matter HOW hard you try to doll up, at the end of the day you look like a scary man.

Ridiculous.

Forget A Hat

Just throw a mini wig on the baby until her hair grows in.

I don't know about you but I don't know ONE baby who wouldn't snatch that mug off and leave in the middle of the room on the floor. Probably even crawl back over to it and leave a coupl'a cracker crumbs between the strands.

I don't know how long this "invention" has been around but this was my first time runnin' across this and all I could do was shake my head.

Pure comedy.

If I saw a baby under 12 months in a full blown wig, pressed out and curled, sprayed and sheened up, I'ma know she didn't grow that.

Tryin' to help the baby's "situation" ain't gon' do nothin' but attract a gang of "no they didn'ts" and "unh unh's".

Come on, y'all, do better.

He's Holding Money But...

He's living with someone.

We know this because of the grandmother couch, the decorative drapes, the calender on the wall and way the wall pictures are positioned. Not to mention the rug.

He would have done well to use the "crop" tool too.

Just Let Him Go

I can't count the number of times I've seen this.

He ain't got NO where to go, no where to run. They got that nigga tied up with a child's jump rope in a cubby hole outside.

If you don't have a yard for your dog to run and play in or you ain't tryin' turn him into a house dog, just don't get one.

He ain't happy!

And then jus' because they put a bowl near him they think they're bein' humane.

What did he do to deserve this? You know he's not getting "walked" on a regular and damn a weekly bath. Nigga ain't never been to the vet and if he coughs, he better work it out.

There's not even any grass close by for him to eat, should he start feelin' nauseous.

What's he s'posed to do when it rains?

He lookin' at the camera like "and you got the nerve to come take a picture of me"

I'm by no means advocating this, in actuality, I think he needs a new owner.

ASAP.

So Does This Mean

I read this mornin' that the "no contact" order Chris Brown got slapped with yesterday was somethin' Rihanna didn't think was necessary and that "the pair won’t be able to have even a distant, cordial relationship. Brown cannot contact Rihanna at all, while Rihanna reaching out to Brown would be considered a violation on Brown’s part, punishable by law."

So does this mean if she e-mails him or texts him across state lines, dude could get fitted for an orange jumpsuit, even he doesn't hit "reply"?

ROFLMAO!

I don't mean to laugh but that sounds messed up. How can the law actually keep an eye on that unless they gon' be checkin' all his device records for the next 5 years.

With how easy it is to create a dummy e-mail account or a IM log in somewhere, I don't see this whole "no contact" thing happening foreal foreal, if they still have unresolved feelin's for each other. It don't make it smart but i'm jus' sayin'.

Gotti's Way 2 Commentary: Ep's 7 & Finale

Last week we saw the continuation of the fight between Irv and Deb that resulted in her kickin' him out her house, as well as the aftermath.

I guess a few days had passed by and things were still unsettled and Deb decided it was time for Irv to take all 3 of the kids and the dog, Scoota, for the whole weekend while she went to go box out her frustrations on a punching bag with DMX's 'ole lady, Tashera ( man, she is NOT easy on the eyes )

While Deb is doing her "me time", Irv took the kids to the studio with him cause he still had to work. Despite food and games to keep them occupied, his sons got bored and decided to act like flies that you can't get rid of. Deb specifically told Angie NOT to walk Scoota at night and she ended up walkin' the dog at night - alone. This disobedience escalates while the kids are in his care.

Meanwhile, Deb is back at home, done from taking out her physical frustrations at the gym and there's no one home. She starts wondering if she did the right thing.

Question: Is Tashera her only friend?

*****

Last night, I was no where near thinkin' this was gonna be the finale. 8 episodes and that's it? Whatever. Anyway, so last night starts with Irv bringin' the kids back home to Deb's and him tellin' her they need to talk about what happened between them.

I guess he doesn't like the tension because it's messing with his "freedom".

You could tell Deb missed him, by the way she asked him if he wanted to come inside and talk. Irv declines and says he has to fly down to Atlanta to work on Lloyd's album and Deb said aliright, just be back in time for their youngest son's birthday - and to make sure he brings a rabbit with him.

So Irv goes to Atl, works on a few tracks and tells Lloyd he has to go back home to NY, and why did I get the feelin' that Lloyd came at him the way a producer would an artist when he said "I jus' don't feel like you're spending enough time in the studio". Let an artist say that to Puffy and see what happens, even though it's probably true. You'd never hear from that artist again.

At the end of the day, for Irv, in this instance, his family comes first and he heads back home to Deb's....with the rabbit for JJ.

Before the festivities started, Irv and Deb decided to have "that" convo and I gotta say it was a nice way to end the show and the season for that matter - but I do have some opinions about what went down. In a nutshell, Irv tells Deb that keeping the kids for that long made him appreciate how easy she makes things for him by taking care of the kids all the time. Deb in return tells Irv that she forgives him for everything and that him bein' there isn't what's actually stopping her from moving on. They both got emotional over hearing the other say what they said and in the end I kinda felt like, she went to therapy just to end up back to square one?

It's obvious that she likes him being there and he kinda likes it too.

I think the only way for her to make this work and feel better, is that she's gonna have to find another relationship that she can focus on or some kinda career on her own that will take up some of her focus durin' those times when Irv ain't at her house sleepin' on the couch.

It's also obvious that Irv likes the family structure thing - without the traditional "mommy & daddy" relationship but I feel as though a divorce won't change his and Deb's friendship. 7 years of seperation is kinda absurd and how can any woman with sense feel like she can completely move on without legalities?

I don't know, but you know, that's them.

If any of you caught last week's or last night's final episode and care to leave a comment, the green light is on.

The cure

To all the niggas out there with the sandpaper palms,

I know we all do the deed one time or another

your gf is away ,you pick up the phone

barry white voice;baby yeah its me again, i'm all alone.

The talk becomes exactly the way you want

She says all the right things and the excitement is killing you

in your heart you know you want to do what is right

but those hands scarred you before, sh** was torture.

To please her you say, fu*k it i'll deal with the sandpaper palms,

anything is better than a pair of blue golf balls

then you go all out, finding something to hold on to,

your girl hearing you cry like a bi*ch and asks "nigga whats wrong?"

Little does she know, you're ripping skin all on the floor.

For any guy whose been through this situation

dont worry we got your back, no more looking at your palms

in fear

proudly introduce {pic above}

...

can't trust killa palms

We Still Doin' This?

Look closely and i'm sure you'll say what I said when I saw this.......individual.

This nasty boy ain't foolin' nobody.

He done broke into his momma's wig drawer and gaffled up one of his sister's outfits and thought wasn't nobody gon' figure this out.

The hands are a dead give away and let's not even talk about the position he's in.

*frowning, yelling at the monitor*

GET UP OFF OF THAT FLOOR!

He's another one that somebody needs to vacuum around real close to get his ass to move, OUTTA that position and ultimately outta the room.

Ironically Enough

I had me some barbeque ribs tonight too! :)

Btw

I hate how limp his feet are!

This Ain't About What He Did

I could care less about that.

I'm still tryin' to figure out why his picture was sitting in Google Images under the phrase "large black man"( although he is ) when this is, I believe, a mug shot.

I'm also tryin' to figure out why he got his shirt off but he's still sweating like he been runnin' thru Miss Johnson's sprinklers that come on at night time.

What is it about the neck region that makes the skin considerably darker than the rest of the body? Especially on large people?

Neck lookin like he been layin' extra close to an exhaust tank of a big rig.

His nappy boobage area just made me shake my head. Looks like elephant hide.

And then there were the braids....

He made sure he was gon' get them long beautiful tresses of his done before he went out and broke the law some kinda way, hunh? Probably checked every angle with that hand held mirror too. He got that look on his face that says "just don't tell my grandmomma".

ROFLMAO!

Your people, I swear.

$10 Bucks Says...

The same beautician that he let do this to him

got a child in her house with a head that looks like this

First of all, I ain't never been a fan of the "Topsy look".

The baby, I feel for, 'cause she ain't got no say in how many barettes end up in on her head but a grown man sittin' thru this? One word. Absurd.

Kanesha and nem from up the street told him his hair was pretty way too many times 'cause in order for him to sit thru that twist session, he believes his own press.

Back to this baby's head....

Way too short for a hot comb and under those circumstances, I vote "mini fro".

The thousand barettes are only magnifying the problem and unless you are or you know somebody who's a repeat offender, doin' this to their child's head, then you know in the back of your mind you have issues with this hairstyle when you see it too. Don't act like i'm the only one.

It's our silence that's created this epidemic in the first place. LOL!

The offenders need to know that this is not okay. I'm counting on y'all to help fix this problem.

Gran-maw, That's Yo Fault

Yeah I wrote "gran-maw"

My grandmomma got caught on the phone with my dad ( her son ) the other day. She was tryin' to ask him how he was doin' since she don't see him that much, since they live in different states. While that might sound feasible and all, I overheard the phone call and nigga, I was rollin'.

Grandmomma know my daddy can and should only be taken in spurts.

For years, it's been a running joke in my family that the last thing you wanna do is ask him simple questions like "how he's doing". That'll start a verbal brush fire.

Nigga, you gon' be stuck in a convo for like 2 hours.

I passed by him on the phone and one minute he was talkin' about somebody in the family and when I passed by him again, I heard the man say "Saul Kasol" and to my amusement

I knew that gran-maw had made the fatal mistake of asking him something about basketball.

Now why in the hell she wanna go and do that?

This was days after the Lakers had won the NBA championship so my dad's "inner vocal lawnmower" was juiced up and ready to run.

He comes from the south and even though he ain't lived there in some 30 odd years, he still has a major twang and can butcher the English language like nobody's business.

On top of that, in his mind, you're a visiting Alien and don't know the basics about life.

*typical convo w/ my dad while watching basketball*

"Now see, what you're watchin is the game of basketball, and what that is, is a game where there's 2 teams and they have 1 ball. They try to put the ball in basket"

*rolls eyes*

Never mind that you've probably been watching basketball for years.

So you could just imagine what was goin' thru gran-maw's mind on the other end.

My dad has prided himself on saying NBA players' names wrong and even though we've corrected him, he's comfortable and refuses to change this.

Kobe Bryant is Kobe Brian. Pao Gasol is Saul Kasol. Lamar Odom is Lamaa' Odinn. Forget about Sasha Vujacic.

Allen Iverson is Ivan Ivason and Sam Cassell is CalSell.

The list goes on.
2 Hours later, they still on the phone. Him talkin' and her stuck sayin' a series of "unh hunh's and "rights" or doin' one of these numbers right here:

If she was smart she woulda been put the phone down and just left that mug on speaker.

You know them kinda people who keep talkin' so long and they refuse to pause so you can say your exiting clue of "alright then"? That's pops'. LOL!

The older he gets, the worse IT gets.

Gotta love 'em though.

Just don't ask that nigga no questions if you see 'em.

Made Me Smile...

So I figured, why the hell not share it wit' y'all...

My man brought this on hisself though, all that animation while tryin' to sell somethin'. LOL!

(thx Eve!)

Sigh...

Sorry.....it's gon' be a slow day for me. I jus' got thru combing the net early and ain't really found nothin' I wanted to sink my teeth into so....I'ma jus' get this one out the way and I hope to come back later with some treats for y'all

You know what?

I'd love to have a sit down conversation with Usher right about now.

The media streets have been on his ass about this woman ever since she started molesting him while she was still married. Yeah, I said molested.

So after all that, an album that he wasn't completely happy with and all the ranting he did on tv to his "fans" about leavin' him and his "wife" alone.....now they up the "D-word" alley?

Come on.

Now she fena have 5 kids and another failed marriage.

I'm not on Twitter or anything like that, so I don't be followin' these mutha-truckas no where but I heard around the way that before the "papers" got signed by ya man, Tameka was defendin' her sh**, hard.

How embarrassing this must be and I don't know what she did or what he did for things to get to this point but i'm sayin'......the worst thing somebody famous can do is talk major head like their relationship is made of teflon 'cause you and I both know the flying cream pie is about to make contact with their face sooner or later.
That said....check back with me for those "treats" 'cause you never know when they might be up.

I Don't Give A DAMN

So this is how it all plays out, hunh?

Damn Lakers. Whatev'.

Yeah they came and balled....got their hustle on and all that, but you know what? We'll see you again next year.....

Oh and by the way.... your fans are already over here trippin'! This is why I can't ride with them 'cause at the end of the day, this is what their happiness involves:

Fires and Mosh Pits

They over here right now, smashin' up and down the street with Laker flags on their windows, honkin' their horns and yellin' in their homes. Where is Calgon when I need it? I'm so ti'ed of this. Y'all don't be surprised if my city is on the news tomorrow morning, under ashes, burned up all 'cause the Laker fans got outta hand *gives you all the knowing look*

Somebody wake me when all this crap is over.

Everybody Shouldn't Have.....

A Myspace of a Facebook page. Why, you ask? Because it hands out unwarranted self esteem like a deck of cards bein' dealt.

You'll want to blame the following (again ).....on eVe.

Follow me....

A

B

C

*drinks from my coffee cup, then sits it down*

***

Now believe me when I tell you there's more. Way More. Too much more, but as me and her discussed, y'all ain't ready for all that "Chocolate Ty" has to offer. At least not in one post.

But all this 'ole.....posin' backwards in multiple shots and thinkin' those over packed bags of moist fudge is inviting is jus'..........ABSURD.

The spongebob rag on the clothes hamper on exhibit C, sittin' on top of the children's table let's me know that some man has gone where no NO man should have ever gone and gave her kids.

*sigh*

The "shiny nighty" shot is totally unacceptable.

Once again, I blame Myspace, Facebook, technology and the nigga in the pen that met her online and told her she was fine 'cause in order for this beast to do this same pose more than one time.....somebody been lyin' to her and because of that

she thought it was aight to give y'all a preview of the "funk tunnel" - Eve's words, not mine.

ROFLMAO!

Get yo girl.

I Don't Know Either

When my girl Eve sent this mug over to me, she had questions and I had questions. So many questions. I didn't know if this was a brown joy stick floating in the water or some disgusting sex toy of some sort or what.

After tryin' to figure it out, we realized it was in fact, a person.

I guess it woulda been too much to ask for him to wear a hooded sweatshirt while sitting in there. I mean, hey, i'm jus' tryin' to help HIM out, 'cause obviously somebody did a double take and decided to grab the camera and take this here picture that you're enjoying.

Damn. If this is the back of him, i'd hate to see the front of him.

The Boss's Nephew...

I'm sorry, this is completely random but I saw this picture and I had a hearty laugh at how unfair this work seating arrangment is.

Slim nigga can't even get his get his work done!

I've never experienced this but I HAVE been made to sit in front of a broad who was notorious for suckin' up her snot every 60 seconds.

I had asked to have my seat moved a gang of times but because her a** and my supervisor were ace boon coons well......you know how that went.

I had to resort to wearin' my headphones all day, with the volume up as high as it could do.

It was either that or go here wit' it

and get fired.

The Darkest Lips They Could Find, Right?

Have you seen this ad anywhere? Like, on MSN or Google in the corner?

This sh** distracts me every time I open up the home page! They jus' HAD to go out and find the darkest, purple colored jibs they could show, hunh? Of course the chops are gonna appear lighter and whiter behind a back drop that deep. Cathysteeth.com, you ain't foolin' nobody! LOL! How you gon' do that? I doubt seriously the bruva ( cause damnit, I HOPE they belong to a man ) who took this picture, knew somebody was gonna steal his shot, crop that sh** and throw it up on a ad like this. Lookin' at the angle of the light, his sh** is DRY, now if this ad was real, they would have at least gave my nigga some Carmex or a pinky tip worth of vaseline so that he could lubricate his situation. *shakes head & moves on*

The Voices Behind The Nike MVP Puppets

(actors/comedians: Kenan Thompson as LeBron James & David Alan Grier as Kobe Bryant)

(actor Bobb'e J Thompson as Lil' Dez)

While I was tryin' to find out who the voice of non-stop talkin' Lil' Dez was, I ran up on a coupl'a joints (here's one) that lead me to the identity of who the voices behind them Kobe and Lebron puppets were and I'm trippin' 'cause I been laughin' at them commercials for a minute now and I had no idea. I never woulda put them 2 down as the obvious choices if i had to choose voices for these guys but it's workin'.....and lil' Dez? Bobb'e's priceless with that. 'Nuff said.

I'm Just Gonna Believe....

I heard thru the wire that a "friend" of mine was gettin' married for the second time this weekend, right? Some cat I been knowin' for over 20 years. Somebody who I considered one of my childhood "dawgs". Me and him conversed on a serious level when his first marriage bit the dust and he asked me for advice and all that jazz, like he usually had. Even told me when he finally met somebody new. I was like cool! As long as this one treats you better, then I'm wearin' yo' jersey.

Everything's all dandy when me and my fam find out he decided to take the plunge again. Couple'a months go by and the date of their wedding starts to get closer and closer and the mail man ain't brought no invitation by, but we're like, whatever, we got time. We ain't got no reason to think this nigga ain't gon' invite nobody to his sh**, right?

I seen this nigga not too long ago. Him and her and he most certainly has my contact info, but I guess it's jus' needed for when he can use some advice on somethin'. The hug he gave was legitimate and whud'nt one of them cold, distant joints and everybody was all smiles..........so why are we literal days before their wedding and ain't sh** came to my house? I thought we was crew but I guess I was wrong.

I mean I GUESS I can jus' charge it to the game and jus' believe that my invitation got lost in the mail but.....



Nigga please. I have invested way too much time into this friendship to not roll my neck and cop an attitude behind this garbage! I don't care if the sh** IS gon' be small this time. I know one thing......he gon' be molded if half the people he did invite, RSVP and then don't show up, 'cause you know black people are notorious for doin' that crap.

Whatever. *continues filing my nails with an eyebrow raised*