Like I Was Gon' Let This Ride....

She asked for this the minute she stepped out the house.....

Got the nerve to be stuffin' them hamhocks into a pair of skinny jeans, knowin' DAMN well there's friction between her thighs over there about to start a fire.

What the hell is so wrong with wearin' clothes that FIT YOU, especially if you can afford it now!?

If your toes look like scuffed up busted hotlinks

then, damnit, STAY OUT THE OPEN TOE SHOES! Why abuse the designers creation all 'cause you gotta get the sides taken out 10 centimeters jus' so that your HOOF can slide into that b*tch. Awful! And for that sweaty face problem, one MIGHT wanna try a non-failing foundation like Colorstay instead of takin' a chance with some other high priced, non matchin' batch of bull that makes you look more like you been soakin' your face in oil sheen, bacon grease and hair gel.

pic source

The Rush To Sit Down

You ever find yourself cussin' under your breath in the public restroom stall at work or somewhere, when you've tried to do your part at bein' sanitary by usin' one of these before you do what you gotta do......only to have that sh*t cave in from the water weight on the flap before you sit down? Mess around, and despite all your efforts, end up with half a butt cheek on the cold seat anyway? That sh*t pisses me off!!!
Random question outta nowhere, I know, but whatever, it's honest.

Glamour Shot My Ass

That photographer tried everything, didn't he?

Satin back drop. Soft Lens. Fan blowin'. Probably even suggested that her big ass pose at that angle and "close her eyes, count to 5 and open them right before the flash" in order to capture that "seductive look". *scoffs*

You have GOT to be kidding me. She should get her money back. Foreal.

I could draw a whole picture on her extra chin.

It'd be messed up if she slid this picture, face down on a table to the captain of the football team at her school like it was a mafia proposal on a note, hopin' he'd like what he saw....only to have him be the reason why this sh*t is even online now. SMH.

I Wanna Be Offended But....

How can I contest this auto correction

when video footage like THIS available on the cyber streets.

Get yo' family members.

What's He Got To Smile For?

I mean, not like I know or nothin' but since when were cameras other than the standard polaroid allowed in prison during visiting hours? I thought they checked for that kinda stuff at the gate. And while I question that, my first instinct was to go in on 'ole boy behind the glass, bu his " vistt then I figured he was smilin' 'cause they more than likely have that "standard prison arrangement" - where she continues to put money on his books, allows him to call her crib and her relatives cribs "collect" all hours of the day and night, and she stands in line for 3 or more hours just to come visit him every week only to be told once she's finally admitted in that a fight jus' broke out in cell block C and the entire facility is now on lockdown so she wasted her day for nothin'. With perks like that, hell, why wouldn't he smile!? The jokes on her, 'cause if he's been given a release date, you and I both know all them prison promises gon' evaporate into thin air. Now with that all that said, she need to take off that plastic belt and close her damn sweater.

Pic found at Stuff Ghetto People Like

And Beauty Is Her Name....

This could either be her driver's license photo....her profile picture on Match.com....or her mug shot for doin' somethin' ungodly only to wind up caught by the fuzz.

What ever the case, it's a whole lot that's wrong here. If there's one pet peeve that I cannot STAND, it's a piece of hair stickin' up on a grown woman's head.
She look like she jus' bit thru somebody's leather couch and enjoyed it. Or she jus' ran sacked a gang of important mail with her mouth like a crazy house dog that had way too much time on his hands. Over there lookin' like she'll do anythang strange for a piece of change.

Work Release Sucks

You know what? When bills gotta be paid, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do but that don't mean you need to be takin' pictures in whatever uniform yo' gig throw at yo' ass. This is stupid. He looks like he's been drinkin' and smokin' somethin' strong all at the same time, wit' them dreadlocks on his head, over there doin' that standard photography pose.

Only a fool would play along wit' him and the whole idea that he's the "Mall Santa" for this year. Maybe at a swap meet, yeah, but not no legitimate mall.